If You're a Coward, Then Stubbornness Can Get You Far.

'You're so brave,' people said to me when I told them I was emigrating. 'It's such a big move.' I didn't know what they meant. What could be so brave about moving from England to Charleston, where my language is spoken and the people are famed for their courtesy and good humor?

It is a big move, right enough. I've left everything behind. Accompanied by my wife, son, cat and four suitcases, I've had to start from scratch, setting up a new home and making new friends. But I'm used to moving around and I don't get homesick. How hard could it be?

Our sponsors warned us that it would take time to adjust, that we'd go through phases: a honeymoon period followed by periods of isolation and frustration before we settled down. Knowing about these phases I smiled, sure that I could remain aloof. The whole experience would be a big adventure.

We arrived without a hiccup, my wife settling into her work as a nurse at MUSC and my son starting daycare. We were struck by Charleston's beauty and the friendliness of our neighbors. Then the honeymoon period ended. I got a tense feeling in my gut, a certainty that something terrible was going to happen. I stayed in my apartment most of time, drove as little as possible, phoned home a lot. The minute disparities were outweighing the similarities between our two countries - different laws, money, slang, scams, expectations... I wasn't in control any more; anything could happen to my family.

In my overwhelmed state I began to do stupid things I never would have done back in England. I lost my wallet (twice), locked my wife outside the apartment and locked my keys inside the car (my friendly neighbors broke in for me). And then I realized that life had been just as precarious in the UK. I simply hadn't known it because I'd lived there all my life, aware of the rules and cocksure on my own little island, in my own little world.

Now the stakes are bigger and maybe some of the risks are, too. But everybody else gets by, so why shouldn't I? Am I brave as I settle down here? No. Am I delighted? Yes. I've finally found a place that I can love enough to call home, no bravery required.

A less maudlin version of this blog appeared in the Charleston City Paper a while back.