I’ll be a guest on Lowcountry Live this Friday. The show starts at 10 a.m. on WCIV - ABC Channel 4, Charleston SC.

You can watch me being charming or foolish depending on what comes out of my mouth (this is LIVE TV, people!).

For more information, contact (843) 881-4444 or visit the Lowcountry Live website.

I've spent the past couple of weeks working on an article about the Charleston International Film Festival, an event I first mentioned in the CP back in October 2007.

The four-day festival at the Terrace Theatre, James Island SC, will show six feature films and loads of short fictive films, documentaries and cartoons.

Part of my article looked at what would happen next year - in particular, how the festival would have to change and grow to continue.

But last night I heard that the first Charleston International Film Festival may also be the last.

Maybe the organizers have a packed schedule next year, or maybe the event isn't looking as profitable as they hoped. Or maybe the rumors aren't true. All I know is, we should make the most of this year's and appreciate all the effort that's gone into its production.

This week The Orphanage, directed by J.A. Bayona and presented by Guillermo del Toro, arrives on Region 1 DVD. It's a creepy film that drips with atmosphere and is perfect for watching in a dark living room with no one around to reassure you that nothing lurks in the shadows of your mind.

I saw the movie at the local multiplex, on the edge of my seat like the rest of the audience. But there was one major distraction from my viewing pleasure.

It was flu season and I happened to be sitting near a guy who coughed, hacked and sneezed throughout the ENTIRE FILM. A message for sick people who want to go to the movies: DON'T. Wait for the DVD.



Here's my review, which originally appeared in a different form in the Charleston City Paper.

FILM REVIEW: The Orphanage

The Spooky Art: Mexican ghost story gets the formula just right

BY NICK SMITH

Starring Belen Rueda, Fernando Cayo, Roger Príncep

Directed by J.A. Bayona

Rated R (with English subtitles)

The Orphanage creeps onto DVD with an endorsement from Pan's Labyrinth director Guillermo del Toro, but it doesn't really need one. It's an effective, desperately unsettling ghost story that shows Hollywood how a horror movie should be done.

Above all, The Orphanage proves that it doesn't take a whole load of CGI or a histrionic music score to create an atmosphere of psychological terror. Less is more.

Simon (Roger Príncep) is a cute 7-year-old boy with an even cuter mom (Laura, played by Belen Rueda). Simon, Laura, and her husband Carlos (Fernando Cayo) move into an old dark house that used to be Laura's orphanage when she was a girl. Now it's creaky, foreboding, and beset by thunderstorms. As is customary, things go bump in the night.

Simon is adopted, and he gets lonely while he waits for his parents to reopen the orphanage and bring in some new kids with special needs. Like a lot of bored, friendless sprogs, Simon invents some imaginary chums — or are they the ghosts of past orphans?

The movie revolves around Rueda's performance as she goes from loving mother to tortured soul when her son goes missing at the orphanage's re-opening party.

Is a mysterious, hatchet-wielding old lady responsible? Is it the specter of Tomas, a deformed little boy who was shut away in the house? Or is Laura going loopy?

Rueda's excellent. She evokes the weariness of a put-upon parent and a whiff of psychosis without losing the sympathy of the audience.

Cayo is equally believable as Carlos, the family pragmatist. When Laura invites a medium into the house, Carlos refuses to acknowledge the eerie voices of the children they hear. He's the down-to-earth type whose reasoning fails to track down Simon. Laura's only choice is to take the medium's advice and go beyond reason, exploring the ethereal instead.

So far, so derivative — there are shades of Henry James' The Turn of the Screw, Poltergeist, and del Toro's own orphanage-set ghost tale, The Devil's Backbone. There's also a nice homage to 1963's The Haunting when something crawls into bed beside Laura ­— and it ain't her husband.

Fortunately, this film doesn't just rehash its predecessors to deliver its frights. It adds new twists, it's beautifully shot, and it's told with an obvious love for the genre that's obviously lacking in standard U.S. examples. There's only one dump-in-your-drawers shock in the movie. The rest is a subtle exercise in tension and utter creepiness.

This kind of film only works if the audience cares about the main characters. It's a credit to the actors and first-time director Juan Antonio Bayona that the distraught parents' plight is always engrossing.

One particularly effective scene takes place outside the orphanage, in a meeting for bereaved moms and dads who've glimpsed their children long after death. The supporting cast and the look of the film build a sense of realism that makes the supernatural elements easier to swallow.

By tapping into our too-real fears of losing a loved one, The Orphanage becomes more than a series of frights. It can be charming and poignant as well. Although there are subtitles, these rarely distract from the flow of a film that relies on rich visuals to propel its narrative.
Its flaws lie in its attempts to compete with Hollywood: The music is occasionally overblown, there's a clichéd underwater dream sequence, and the use of a deformed child as a way to perturb the audience isn't exactly PC.

But these minor missteps never detract from the film's scary, emotionally gripping atmosphere, making it required viewing for mainstream horror directors and discerning film fans alike.

Even though I spent the first 31 years of my life in Great Britain, there aren't many things I miss about the Old Country. Here's a few:

1. Fish and chips.

Think those fish and chips at the English-theme restaurant are the real deal? Not on your nelly. I'd have to go back to Blighty for a real fish supper, with battered seafood and plump greasy chips smothered in vinegar and wrapped in paper.

2. Bovril.

This tasty meat spread can be imported from Canada, but customs regards any strange substance shipped over the border with great suspicion.

3. My mum.

Mum loves to sing and she enjoys a good knees-up (translation: party). A shindig just isn't a shindig without her.

4. Self-effacing British humor.

The kind of thing you don't miss till it's gone. US ads are so straight-laced and dull; the best British commercials are ironic, satirical and fun. Like this ad for Energy Wasting Day, which was held on April 1st 2008.





Love it. There's nothing funnier than a fat balding man in his underpants (unless I'm the guy in the underpants, and I've just locked myself out of the house on my way to pick up the morning paper).

Anyway, that's enough maudlin homesick blogging. If you're in Charleston and you love the Earth, there are several events coming up that you can read about on the City Paper website. Guaranteed no energy wasting.

This week's Charleston City Paper is a green issue, with a bunch of ecological articles especially for Earth Day. It's got a very fancy diorama-style cover by Eric Vincent, a maniacally talented local artist and advertising guru:

On the CP website you can read about my wife Ros' horrible cycling accident and the steps local riders are taking to make the city a safe place to ride in Spinning Wheels. There's also a green pop quiz to find out if you're ecologically aware or just trailer trash.

Pop quiz #2 is in a similar vein. Are you green or just really stingy? In the words of CP managing editor Chris Haire it's "fucking great stuff man," and you can read it right here.

QUESTIONS

1. Shit. The price of gas has gone up again. What do you do?

A. You bitch about the price of gas.


B. Convert your diesel engine vehicle so that it runs on vegetable oil. If you ask nicely, many restaurants will give you their oil for free.


C. You tell your family your car won’t start and get them to push you to work



2. McDonald’s introduces a new dollar menu. Do you:

A. Try everything on the menu


B. Picket the chain to encourage it to stop using environmentally harmful products in refrigeration.


C. Their stuff is still too expensive. You put on the oldest clothes you can find and visit the Lowcountry Food Bank.



3. Charleston Water System announces its annual summer drought and you immediately:

A. Go water the lawn


B. Fit your kitchen faucet with an Aquasana filter. That way you won’t be purchasing bottled water with wasteful packaging.


C. Start saving your spit in a jar.



4. You’re shopping at the mall when you notice that someone’s dropped a ten dollar bill on the ground. You:

A. Ask around until you find someone who says they’ve just lost $10


B. Add it to $20 of your own money and use it to sign up as a Friend of the Coastal Conservation League


C. Stuff it in a sock under your mattress



5. Your local beach is littered with cigarette butts. Do you:

A. Add some of your own – if everyone else is doing it, there can’t be anything wrong with it.


B. Lead a “clean sweep” day to clear debris from the beach


C. Smoke ‘em now you’ve found ‘em.



6. On washday, you either:

A. Buy some new undies. What’s a few bucks to a big spender like you?


B. Make sure you have a full load in your washing machine before turning it on – anything less would be a waste of water and electricity.


C. What’s washday?



7. Whenever it’s your round at the bar, you:

A. Take your turn. Nothing’s too good for your friends.


B. Order a shot of Reyka vodka for everyone. This ultrapure Icelandic liquor is distilled through lava rock and produced with steam from a millennia-old lava field.


C. Hide



8. You can hear the unmistakable rumble of the garbage truck driving towards your house. Do you:

A. Shove everything in your wheelie bin


B. Place non-biodegradable trash in the bin, and glass, plastic, cans and tins in a blue bin provided by Charleston County’s Solid Waste and Recycling Department. Your newspapers and non-corrugated cardboard go in separate paper bags.


C. Fight the garbage man for the rocking chair thrown out by the old widow down the street



9. What do you do when you’re nearly out of toothpaste?

A. Buy a new tube


B. Make sure you squeeze every last ounce out of the tube so you’re not discarding more non-biodegradable packaging than you have to


C. Visit your neighbor and ask to borrow a bowl of toothpaste



10. At the end of the day when you’re tired and dirty, do you:

A. Have a long, luxurious shower


B. Take a brief shower with a low flow showerhead. That way the flow of the water will be under three gallons per minute, minimizing the amount of water you use.


C. Take a whore’s bath. The free kind.

RESULTS

Mostly A’s: You’re a regular Joe.

Mostly B’s: You’re certifiably green. A little zealous at times, maybe, but green nonetheless.

Mostly C’s: You’re stingy. Or a student.

CALLING ALL FILMMAKERS

Now’s the time to enter the fifth Felder Film Festival, created by myself, actor Clarence Felder and cinematographer Michael Givens.

The festival is organized by the Actors Theatre of South Carolina’s Moving Images Group and is part of Piccolo Spoleto. There’s a first prize of $500 for the best film under 15 minutes.

Deadline for DVD entries is May 4. Drop me a line or visit the Actors' Theatre of SC website for full submission details.

Books-a-Million in West Ashley was so impressed with my signing there last month that they've asked me back to do another one - either that or they want to make a few bucks.

I'll be signing copies of my latest thriller, Undead on Arrival on April 19 from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. The store is at 832 Orleans Road, Charleston SC. Feel free to drop in, say hello and have a chat.

Yul Brynner's a hero in my house. He could sing, he could bake (he wrote his own cookbook), he stood up to Moses in The Ten Commandments, refused to eb upstaged by Steve McQueen in The Magnificent Seven and played an ultracool Terminator type in Westworld while Arnold Schwarzenegger was still in short lederhosen.

So we'll be striding purposefully towards the Main Library at 68 Calhoun St., downtown Charleston later this month for their Yul Brynner Film Festival.

Here's the full lineup, on the big screen in surround sound:

April 21 - 25

In cooperation with the Yul Brynner Head and Neck Cancer Foundation and as part of Oral, Head and Neck Cancer Awareness Week, the Charleston County Public Library's Media Services Department presents the Yul Brynner Film Fest.

April 21 at 1 p.m. - The Ten Commandments

April 22 at 1 p.m. - The King and I

April 23 at 1 p.m. - The Magnificent Seven

April 24 at 1 p.m. - Taras Bulba

April 25 (double feature) - Westworld at 1 p.m. and Catlow at 3 p.m.

AMC has announced that it will close its two movie theaters at our local malls (West Ashley and Northwoods). It seems that there just aren't enough shoppers who want to go see a film after a hard day's browsing, and the 6-screeners can't compete with the city's larger mulitplexes.

Since I'm a fully signed-up slave to celluloid I've frequented the AMC at Citadel Mall often. One of my favorite experiences there: watching the Dawn of the Dead remake. The movie's set in a mall, so to view it then step out of the theater and see a very similar mall was a mind-rattling experience.

You can read the full story about the closures on the Post & Courier website. I take exception to their comment that Charleston's multiplexes are state-of-the-art, though; only one - away out in Summerville - is equipped with up to date digital video projection equipment.

It's no big secret that Gulf War Syndrome was most likely a result of a combination of anti-nerve gas pills, pesticides and nerve gas in the air during the first Gulf War. But it wasn't always taken as read. It's also no big secret that the wheels of the Federal Government turn slowly, and it's only just acknowledged the causes of GWS. You can read more on the Charleston Post & Courier website today.

Twelve years ago, my wife Ros directed a documentary called Lethal Exosure. We talked to Gulf War vets all around the UK and traced a major cause of GWS to the anti-nerve gas pills. Back then, it was a scoop. We held panel discussions, a worldwide webcast and did what we could for the veterans' cause.

The only disappointment for me is that after all this time, some of those veterans are not alive to read the Government's acknowledgement. I hope that we can learn from the mistakes of the past and avoid future lethal exposure.

I recently got to check out the latest show from national-level ballet company, Charleston Ballet Theatre. As a finale to their 20th Anniversary celebrations they presented three oldies-but-goodies: Poetry with a Splash of Blood, Wings and Rite of Spring. The latter was powerful despite featuring male dancers ho looked like they were dressed in swimming caps and diapers.

Here's what the City Paper A&E editor John Stoehr had to say:

"Nick Smith, always up for seeing svelte dancers emerge from a pile of dirt (not kidding), enjoyed the show and sent us this review."

John sees right through me. I'm an ODB at heart.

See what I mean about the diapers?

Also in this week's City Paper: my review of the Little City Theatre Company's musical, Songs for a New World. I'm not a huge fan of musical theatre - I'm no Rent boy - but this collection of songs was well performed. I expect more good things soon from this brand new local company.

Also on the artsy front, my hard-rockin' pals at Chamber Music Charleston will perform Dvorak and Francaix at St. Stephen’s Episcopal Church, 67 Anson Street, Charleston on April 13.

Like CBT, they're excellent at what they do and man, do they know how to have fun.

"COLD SOLDIERS" CASTING CALL

I'm about halfway through filming of my second movie, Cold Soldiers. Since it's a high-octane action thriller, I'm always looking for fresh actors to blow up or throw around. So I'll be holding a casting call for actors and background artists on Sunday, April 6 from 4-8 p.m. at the Production Hall on the Old Navy Base, North Charleston.

Although most of the lead parts have been filled for this indie feature, I'm planning future projects and would like to know who's out there so that I can tailor parts for them somewhere along the line.

In the meantime, I'm looking for talent to play minor or non-speaking parts in Cold Soldiers. Shooting commenced in November 2007 and we hope to wrap the production this summer.

For more information or dirrections to the Production Hall, leave me a comment or email me with a headshot, resume and height/weight/age at nicksmithproductions@hotmail.com

The behind-the-scenes photos from Cold Solders are by Trevor Erickson.

There's only one thing I like more than free time, and that's free stuff. Whether it's one of those plastic gewgaws you find in a cereal packet or a jar of pickles from the local grocery store on Mystery Coupon Day, I'm a sucker for a freebie.

Although I rarely win competitions, I keep entering them. I guess that makes me an eternal optimist - or, as suggested above, a sucker for the merest chance of a freebie.

My friend and unashamed "Mac Evangelist" John Hood is running a splendid competition on his blog, Generation Star Wars. You can enter for a chance to win a Boba Fett USB flash drive that looks like this:

Who knew the mightiest bounty hunter in the universe could look so cute?

New Acting Classes start in April

I'm the kind of guy who tries to please all the people all the time, which means I'm the kind of guy who usually ends up pretty miserable - unless I split those people into more than one group and give them each the attention they require. Then everything turns out okay.

This month I'll be running two acting courses: one for film/TV actors, and another for people with a penchant for the stage. Full details below.

ACTING FOR FILM & TV

The ONLY on-camera class offered in Charleston, SC by Nick Smith. This is ideal if you need to learn, polish, and maintain your on-camera skills. You will get a copy of the 'end result' for your audition reel.

Ages 8 and up who are ready to sit through the class. Classes held at the South of Broadway Theatre Company Studios.

Price $100.00 for pkg. of four classes: April 7, 14, 21 & 28, 4-6 p.m.

Visit the South of Broadway website for full details.

ACTING FOR THEATRE

Classes for beginning and intermediat-level actors who need to work on their stage acting skills. The course is held at the North Charleston Cultural and Civic Center Complex. It starts on April 14 and runs every Monday through May 19, 6.30-8 p.m.

Visit the North Charleston Cultural Arts website for more information and registration forms.